What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 02:34
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Samsung U-turns on ‘ugly’ camera ring with Z Fold 7 – Galaxy S26 next? - Sammy Fans
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Trump slams Russia's Medvedev for claiming countries will give Iran nuclear warheads - CNBC
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
This is how, and why children get BPD.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
When she asked me how she looked .
He knew the spot.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Could Patriots cut Stefon Diggs and owe him nothing? It’s complicated. - NBC Sports
She was in good health!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I couldn’t, believe it.
What would explain Trump blaming Ukraine for starting the war with Russia?
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Kristen Doute gives birth to rainbow baby with fiancé Luke Broderick - Page Six
I write beautiful poetry .
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
It was going to be , some day.
Is it possible to legally adopt a family member?
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I have no regrets .
Netflix anime boosts Devil May Cry 5 sales to over 10m - Eurogamer
All the time i was locked up.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I was scared of men, in general
Common Diabetes Drug Linked to 'Exceptional Longevity' in Women - ScienceAlert
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
This is soul school!.
So, i spoilt her more .
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But it wasn’t much.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Would this be the day?
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Put me off passion for life!!
I said to her
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Why did i forgive my father ?
(And it was in our own minds.)
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
One cannot live in the past .
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
My family never makes their pension either.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But ive been too sick for many years..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I think the readers, may guess!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
She wouldn,t have been !
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
And i lived it daily.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I will be 64.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I was seconnd youngest,
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Especially a lifetime of it.
I was very sick at this time too.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
As i do to all so called friends.?
I don,t even have a pension.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Comes on , in middle age.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
She loved him until the end.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
But, we were locked up after school.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Ive learnt so much.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
So whats the point in blame.
We all went to grammer schools
I never cut or harmed myself..
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I was 9 years of age.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Who then, do I blame.?
I waited trembling.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Im still living with it.
What did i know ?
I could never make a relationship work though!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I did it because my mum asked me too!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
She married twice! .
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
We were not on the streets..
I know ,a lot about trauma.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
She found it foreign!.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
My life is so biszare .
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!